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ADD / ADHD Children : Being Your Child`s Best Friend - By Kate Hufstetler

 

Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If so-- my hat is off to you!

ADD / ADHD children are brilliant, full of energy, smart as a whip (as grandma says), and tons of work. They are also the rising sun and the setting star: meaning much of life revolves around them in one way or another. One tactic you might employ is to: be your child`s best friend.

Hear me out just a bit. I am not promoting parents in "jammies" all day-- everyday, messy homes filled with increasing whirlwind clutter that no-one attends to, nor hot dogs and pizza nightly just to avoid more arguing with an ADD / ADHD child.

I am suggesting the reminder we all need with these special needs children: keep perspective.

And yes-- try thinking along the lines of being best friends with your child.

Best friends are people who look out for the best interest of another.

Best friends have a special tolerance for each other.

Best friends set aside time to truly know each other and how each other thinks and feels.

Best friends stand up for one-another, for their rights, their feelings, their health, and their needs.

Best friends look forward to more time together.

Best friends cherish each other dearly.

Best friends also speak the truth and help guide each other along the journey of life together.

Here are more simple reminders that we easily forget when caught up in our daily grind. I hope they will help from time to time with your ADD / ADHD parenting:

* Remember to keep the rules-- but not TOO many rules all at once all the time!

* Schedule FUN

* Stop being organized now and then to ad-lib and make delight shine for you both again!

* Yes-- even with medicated kids some days are suddenly going to be worse than others.

* This is physiological-- remember?

* You are the expert in his/her eyes. Provide correction and consequences accordingly.

* Use notebooks, or better yet email, to communicate with the teacher daily.

* It is no fun for the ADD / ADHD child to be "wrong" or in trouble so much of the day-- catch him/her being good!!

* With young ADD / ADHD children try picture charts on the wall for daily routines to follow.

* Your child needs extra reminders, extra chances, extra love, and extra encouragement (so do you!!)

* Read The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell.

* Know the educational rights in your school district and utilize each and every one of them :-)

* Be patient with the child, your mate, and especially yourself.

* Tenderness and politeness goes a long way with these precious ones.

* These kids love to be helpful-- utilize it, just don`t seek perfection :-)

and finally:

** DON`T go It ALONE! Enlist the help of extended family, friends, neighbors, associates, playmate families, medical professionals, and perhaps a coach for sanity.

Two myths that existed when I was a child:

The first was that the parents were always right and had all the answers.

The second one was that "You can have it all, baby".

Well, as a parent-- I know the first is NOT true. And as a working mom-- the second is out the door as well (or at least the romanticized fantasy version of it is).

You are a parent-- do your best. Learn every day. Ask for forgiveness. And cherish this relationship.

You can design your life-- You are a parent, and an individual. You have to pick and choose which elements will be incorporated within it, and, how you want it to run.

Your child needs love, fun, consideration, truth, honesty, openness, and the gentle/firm guidance that best friend`s can give without damaging or straining the relationship. You already have so many different hats to wear all day for your various roles. Being your child`s best friend might simplify some of that. Give it a try.

Enjoy these years and enjoy your ADD / ADHD child !!!!

Until next time--- all the best,

Kate



Kate Hufstetler is a well established business & personal coach who has helped many individuals like yourself to beat "the blues" and gain control over their lives. . Her clients come from both the United States and overseas. She offers coaching services via email and phone consultations at flexible timing and financing to meet your every need. Through personal, business, spiritual mentorship, she could help you too! Please visit for available packages within your range: http://www.comedreamwithme.com/start_today.html

Reincarnation -- Part 1 of 3 Sacred Children Series - By Skye Thomas

 

Many years ago, my children were raised on the various teachings and concepts of "magic" as I was studying different religions and spiritual beliefs. I had come across many metaphysical teachings woven throughout most of the different religions. It was very important to me that they stay authentic and real. I didn`t want them to ever allow anyone to convince them to be something other than the beautiful souls they already were. They took to the metaphysical teachings quite easily and naturally. Often they already knew whatever it was I had thought I was going to teach them.

My four-year-old son asked me one morning, "Where did I live before I got into your tummy to be born." He naturally assumed that he`d always existed despite his lack of memory about life before being born. It was just after Valentine`s Day and I reminded him of those cupid style angel babies that we had seen in the stores. We had both really like all of the statues, greeting cards, and pictures of the little cherubs. I told him that he was one of those little baby angels up in heaven before I got pregnant with him.

He asked if his younger sister had been a cherub too. "Yes, of course." He then double checked to make sure they had been hanging out up in heaven together waiting to come down. He seemed satisfied with the idea that his little sister and him had both played together as little winged babies in up in heaven waiting for their turn to be born.

My son had heard the stories of how I had seen visions of his sister for five years before she finally came into our lives. He wanted to know if I`d had visions of him too. "No, just this one dream where you were running around peeing on everything. However just because I didn`t see you ahead of time doesn`t mean that you aren`t a wonderful and amazing gift in my life. It doesn`t mean that I don`t love you just the same as if I had seen you coming ahead of time." He sat there nodding his head with this wise old man`s expression on his face as he thought for awhile.

When he spoke next, I almost laughed aloud at his reasoning. So, he wanted to know, didn`t this all mean that he was faster than his sister and had bested her in yet another race? After all, he`d beat her by two whole years. "Yeah," I chuckled at where his mind had gone with it all, "I guess you did." With that he ran off to rub it in her face. He always took such pride in being bigger, faster, and older than her. As far as he was concerned, it was proof that yet again, he was faster than her.

Later that evening he came back to ask me some more questions, "So, if I was in heaven before I got into your tummy and I`m going back again after I die, then can I come back again and again if I want to?"

"There are some people who say yes you can and there are some people who say no you can`t. They say you only get one turn at life."

"Is it okay with you if I come back again?"

"Yeah sure," I shrugged, "if you want to. I don`t see why not."

"I can come back and live again and again if I want to?"

"It`s okay with me. You can come back as many times as you want. It`s really up to you."

With a worried look on his face he asked, "Will you be my mom every time?"

"Yes, of course, honey. I`ll always be your mom forever and ever."

His face lit up with relief at the reassurance that I`d always be here for him. Then he asked, "So next time, can we be farmers?"

"No, absolutely not."

He did his best to argue the point, but he never could convince me to become a farmer. I always told him that I was tired of working that hard and that I wanted to play more in my next life. He enjoyed a childhood in which he believed that he could be anything and everything he could dream of. He never worried about running out of time, because he had so many lifetimes to fill.

Over the years, he`s asked many big cosmic questions about spiritual and paranormal topics. How is it that sometimes we see visions of things before they happen? How is it that we can talk to guardian angels that we can`t see and yet we can hear answers? How come not everyone hears them? Who`s in charge? Why is it that the religions are all so much alike and yet people fight so much over which one`s exactly right? Who`s right? How is it he could have memories of being an adult Native American warrior when he was only a young boy? Why is their music so haunting? How come he sees Celtic symbols in his dreams at night sometimes? Why is he so attached to the falcons?

He`s in high school now and has studied many different belief systems. He`s not so sure now that reincarnation is how it all works. He`s open to different beliefs, but as a rather scientific type, he`s really quite skeptical and requires a lot of proof. I encourage him to do his own research and find proof as to what really happens after we die. He hasn`t really studied religions for quite some time now because he`s far more interested in studying girls and bass guitars. I`m not too worried about it because I know that the seeds of spirituality were firmly planted in his upbringing and at some point in his future he will again look towards the heavens for answers as to where he was before he was born.

Copyright 2003, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow`s Edge


Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow?s Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, soulmates, and parenting. Her books, articles, and astrological forecasts have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. To read more of her articles and to sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net. To download free previews of her books, go to www.SkyeThomas.com.

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