Helping Our Children Feel Good About Themselves - By Dr.Barbara Becker Holstein
We have so much influence over the next generation! Lots of times we forget
how much influence, as our children or grandchildren can appear to ignore us, forget
us or even worse--run from us in o?ne way or another. Sometimes, we must just accept
the fact that lots of times positive actions happen without positive recognition!
Therefore, it behooves us as the `grownups` in our personal worlds to keep looking
for ways to help the young o?nes experience good times, feel nurtured and loved
and to walk away from situations just a little more o?ne the road to developing
as a whole person with a good sense of self. I can assure you that insistence o?n
creating a meaningful world for our children does eventually pay off!
I`d like to share with you how Lorna did just that with her daughter Sabrina.
Here is some of what she wrote to me:
?Yesterday afternoon Sabrina, my six year old daughter, was helping me make Chinese
sesame cookies for our church`s girls` club. Sabrina attends weekly club meetings
and is always happy to help me out with the snacks for club. These cookies needed
to be rolled into little balls and then rolled into sesame seeds. The ?seeding?
of the cookies was Sabrina`s job. We were halfway through the dough. She was rolling
away. Suddenly she said to me without looking up, "This is great! I get to spend
quality time with Daddy and now more time with you!"
She was referring to her Sunday evenings alone with her daddy. Sunday evenings
at 5:30 pm, I leave and take my 9 year-old son to the boys club at church where
I also help with snacks. During the time we are gone, Sabrina and her daddy have
a tea party almost every Sunday evening. They turn the lights off, light the candles
that I have usually in the center of the table, then boil water, and set the table.
There is usually some kind of ?tea cookie? (like shortbread) in the pantry. They
take those and then serve each other tea and cookies. Sometimes they act silly.
e.g. Acting very aloof with flowery language or just simply talking about this and
Last Sunday evening I did not have to stay at club until it was over. I got home
just in time for the tea party. Sabrina set me a spot at the table. She offered
me sugar and cookies. We chatted. She acted a little silly. It was really cute and
I was glad I got to peek in o?n what she and my husband usually do. After I had
a couple sips, I slipped away to my office to check email so they could have their
usual special time alone.`
Lorna, Sabrina`s mom, is describing such a wonderful activity that lends itself
both to building self-esteem and to beautiful positive memories in the future. I
can picture Sabrina sharing her tea parties with her daddy years later with her
Exercise: Play Date with a Child in Your Life
Can you think of something special that you could offer a child in your life?
You don`t have to be a parent or grandparent. You may know a child down the street,
or a cousin or even a friend`s child. A special outing or treat can go a long way
to bringing delight to a child.
I remember when my aunt Rose arrived at my cousin`s home with a surprise for
me! It was a box in the shape of a treasure chest and it contained some perfume
and soaps all designed for a little girl. I was thrilled and felt very special.
I can still remember lovingly keeping my treasure chest and eventually filling it
with other treasures after I had used all the soaps, lotions and bubble bath. Yes,
this treasure chest did make me feel special, very feminine and created a great
I know you will have fun with a play date.
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein , originator
of THE ENCHANTED SELF?, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living,
invites you to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, downloadable e-books,
and free gifts at http://www.enchantedself.com.
Chat with others in Dr. Holstein`s e-group,
and sign up for her free e-group at http://www.enchantedself.com.
Order her book, THE ENCHANTED SELF: A Positive Therapy, or the CD-rom or tape version
and her book RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT: The Secret Ingredient is YOU!, or the ED-rom
version, at http://www.enchantedself.com/ordering.htm
IF YOU`D LIKE TO KNOW WHY READING MATTERS - By Barbara Freedman-DeVito
HERE ARE SOME OF THE REASONS WHY READING IS SO IMPORTANT FOR CHILDREN.
WHY DO WE TELL CHILDREN TO READ ?
We`re always telling children that books and reading are good for them, but have
we ever really thought about why that`s true ? Exactly what do older children get
out of reading novels ? What do younger kids get from being read to ? Does reading
The purpose of this article is to say that, yes, it`s true, reading really is
important, and that there are some solid reasons why that is so. Let`s begin with
the practical benefits and then move on to the less tangible rewards of a life filled
BOOKS HELP CHILDREN DEVELOP VITAL LANGUAGE SKILLS.
Reading is an important skill that needs to be developed in children. Not only
is it necessary for survival in the world of schools and (later on) universities,
but in adult life as well. The ability to learn about new subjects and find helpful
information on anything from health problems and consumer protection to more academic
research into science or the arts depends on the ability to read.
Futurologists used to predict the death of the printed word but, ironically,
Internet has made reading more and more a part of people`s daily lives. The paperless
society is a myth. The computer`s ability to process and analyze data means that
endless variations on reports and other types of documents can be and are generated.
Internet, itself an enormous new source of information and recreation, is based
on the humble written word. To effectively utilize the web and judge the authenticity
and value of what is found there, both reading and critical thinking skills are
of prime importance.
The more children read, the better they become at reading. It`s as simple as
that. The more enjoyable the things they read are, the more they`ll stick with them
and develop the reading skills that they`ll need for full access to information
in their adult lives. Reading should be viewed as a pleasurable activity - as a
source of entertaining tales and useful and interesting factual information.
The more young children are read to, the greater their interest in mastering
reading. Reading out loud exposes children to proper grammar and phrasing. It enhances
the development of their spoken language skills, their ability to express themselves
Reading, by way of books, magazines or websites, exposes kids to new vocabulary.
Even when they don`t understand every new word, they absorb something from the context
that may deepen their understanding of it the next time the word is encountered.
When parents read aloud to children, the children also hear correct pronunciation
as they see the words on the page, even if they can`t yet read the words on their
READING CAN OPEN UP NEW WORLDS AND ENRICH CHILDREN`S LIVES.
As mentioned above, reading opens doors - doors to factual information about
any subject on earth, practical or theoretical. Given the wealth of available resources
such as Internet, libraries, schools and bookstores, if children can read well and
if they see reading as a source of information, then for the rest of their lives
they will have access to all of the accumulated knowledge of mankind, access to
all of the great minds and ideas of the past and present. It truly is magic !
Through books, children can also learn about people and places from other parts
of the world, improving their understanding of and concern for all of humanity.
This, in turn, contributes towards our sense that we truly live in a "global village"
and may help us bring about a more peaceful future for everyone. This can happen
through nonfiction but, perhaps even more importantly, reading novels that are set
in other places and time periods can give children a deeper understanding of others
through identification with individual characters and their plights.
Through stories and novels children can vicariously try out new experiences and
test new ideas, with no negative consequences in their real lives. They can meet
characters who they`ll enjoy returning to for comforting and satisfying visits when
they reread a cherished book or discover a sequel. Books also give kids the opportunity
to flex their critical thinking skills in such areas as problem solving, the concepts
of cause and effect, conflict resolution, and acceptance of responsibility for one`s
actions. Mysteries allow children to follow clues to their logical conclusions and
to try to outguess the author. Even for very young children, a simple story with
a repetitive refrain or a simple mystery to solve gives a confidence boost. Children
can predict the patterns and successfully solve the riddles.
Children are influenced by and imitate the world around them. While a steady
diet of violent cartoons may have a detrimental effect on children`s development,
carefully chosen stories and books can have a positive influence on children, sensitizing
them to the needs of others. For example, books can encourage children to be more
cooperative, to share with others, to be kind to animals, or to respect the natural
READING CAN ENHANCE CHILDREN`S SOCIAL SKILLS.
Although reading is thought of as the quintessential solitary activity, in certain
circumstances reading can be a socializing activity. For example, a parent or grandparent
reading a story aloud, whether from a traditional printed book or from an ebook,
can be a great opportunity for adult and child to share some quiet, relaxed quality
time together away from the rush and stresses of the business of daily living. They
share a few minutes of precious time, plus they share the ideas that are contained
in the story. In addition, older children can be encouraged to read aloud to younger
ones as a means of enhancing their relationship.
At school or at a library story hour, books can bring children together and can
be part of a positive shared experience. For some preschoolers this may be their
primary opportunity to socialize and to learn how to behave around other children
or how to sit quietly for a group activity. Make the most of this experience by
encouraging children to talk about what they`ve read or heard.
READING CAN IMPROVE HAND-EYE COORDINATION.
It may sound funny, but ebooks can be a way for children to improve their fine
motor skills and their hand-eye coordination, as they click around a childfriendly
website or click the backward and forward buttons of online story pages. They may
also be picking up valuable computer skills that they`ll need in school and later
READING CAN PROVIDE CHILDREN WITH PLENTY OF GOOD, CLEAN FUN !
I`ve saved the most important point for last. Reading can provide children with
endless hours of fun and entertainment. All of the pragmatic reasons above aren`t
at all necessary to justify reading`s place in children`s lives. Stories can free
up s and open up exciting new worlds of fantasy or reality. They allow
children to dream and may give them a good start on the road to viewing reading
as a lifelong source of pleasure; so read to your young children every day.
Inspire your older children to read. Give them access to plenty of reading material
that they`ll enjoy and discuss it with them. Sample everything - traditional printed
books and ebooks on Internet, classic children`s novels and fairy tales, as well
as more modern stories.
If a child wants to hear the same story over and over again, don`t worry about
it. Children take comfort from the familiarity and predictability of a beloved story
that they know by heart. There`s no harm in that. Reread old favorites and, at the
same time, introduce your children to new stories. Your child`s mind and heart have
room for both.
SO READING REALLY DOES MATTER AFTER ALL!
There are so many ways in which reading continues to be both a vital skill for
children to master, and an important source of knowledge and pleasure that can last
a lifetime. Nurture it in your children. Make the most of all the resources that
are available and waiting for you: printed books, online books, magazines and so
forth. Encourage follow-up activities involving creative writing skills and the
arts, as well, so that your children can reflect upon or expand on what they`ve
absorbed and, at the same time, develop their own creativity. As you help your kids
appreciate the magic of reading, you`ll find that there`s a whole wonderful world
full of children`s literature out there that YOU can enjoy too.
Barbara Freedman-De Vito has spent
many years as a children`s librarian, teacher, professional storyteller, puppeteer,
author and artist. She now writes, illustrates and publishes childsafe animated
stories and fairy tales for children, which are sold through her publishing company,
Baby Bird Productions. Please visit
http://www.babybirdproductions.com to see her catalog of fun, colorful children`s
books. The site also includes a free list of suggestions for creative reading related
children`s activities, plus free children`s games and activity pages. In addition,
the site provides free advice for parents on helping children do their best in both
their schoolwork and in expressing their creativity.
Children articles index
- Brains on Fire: The Multimodality of Gifted Thinkers - By Brock Eide
- laying Baby Computer Games ? The New Parent-Child Tradition? - By Emma
- Book Excerpt: Einstein Never Used Flash Cards - By Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Ph
- Putting Fun Into Parenting - By David Stoepker, Psy.D., & Erin Brown Con
- Preparing Your Child for a High-Tech Future - By Sue Sato
- Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder - Predominantly Inattentive
- Abandonment - By Sonya Green
- Explaining Suicide to Children - by Tracy Pierson
- Our Children`s Needs - by Robert Elias Najemy
- How to Develop Self-Esteem in Children - By J. Bailey Molineux, Ph.D.
- Helping Children Overcome Stress and Fear - By Debbie Milam
- Do you Shout at YOUR children? - By James Middleton
- Book Excerpt: Helping Children with Autism Learn - By Bryna Siegel,
- SPEED SPELLING: Another way to use speed reading skills for "schoolwork&q
- Children and Stress - By Laura Silva Quesada
- Boundaries- Why Are They Needed? - by Derek Randel & Gail Randel M.D.
- Juggling Home
- Explaining World tragedy to Children - By Chick Moorman and Thomas Ha
- Children and Pessimism - By Carol Tuttle
- Loving Yourself, Loving Your Children - By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
- Social Manners for Children - By Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach
- The Sexual Abuse of Children - By J. Bailey Molineux
- A Few Simple Truths About ADHD and Stimulant Drugs - By Steve Edelman1,
- DYSLEXICS and A.D.D. KIDS BECOME GIFTED SPEED READERS - by George Stanc
- Using Feng Shui for Better Behaved Children - By Kathryn Weber
- Book Excerpt: Helping Children with Autism Learn - By Bryna Siegel,
- Five Keys to Raising Nonviolent Children - By Tammy Cox, LMSW
- The Best Way to Reduce Stress: Start Young - By Zach Brull
- Your Child?s Self-Esteem is in The Cards - By Susan Howson
- Calming Tips for Hyperactive Children - By Jeannine Virtue
- What is ADHD? - By Jeannine Virtue
- Talking to Your Children About Sex - By Jan Andersen
- How Our Children Really Learn And Why They Need To Play More And Memo
- HOW DO WE PROTECT OUR CHILDREN FROM PREDATORS? - By Linda J Alexander,
- Teach Children Positive Self-Image Through Fitness - By Lynn Bode
- No Invitation Needed -- Part 3 of 3 Sacred Children Series - By Skye T
- Helping Our Children Feel Good About Themselves - By Dr.Barbara Becker Hol
- Unidentified Stepfamily Zones - Discoveries Made at a Stepfamily Confer
- Divorce and Children: Things To Consider When You`re Staying Married
- Six facts you should know to empower your teaching. - By Emmanuel
- Are You in an Abusive Situation? - by Colin Gabriel Hatcher & Randall
- The Divorce Revolution Has Failed - By J. Bailey Molineux
- Is Your Child Well-Mannered? - By Mary Jesse
- Jesus` Birthday -- Part 2 of 3 Sacred Children Series - By Skye T
- Empty Nesters: What Should You Do Once the Children Leave? - By Mary Guar
- We should celebrate the diversity of children and adults - By Robyn M
- How to Cope with Back to School Stress - By Debbie Mandel
- HIS KIDS: BECOMING A W.O.W. STEPMOTHER - by Julie Donner Andersen
- ADD / ADHD Children : Being Your Child`s Best Friend - By Kate Hufst