Children and Kids articles catalog
 

 

HOW DO WE PROTECT OUR CHILDREN FROM PREDATORS? - By Linda J Alexander, ESQ.L

 

In light of the increasing dangers to our family, especially our children -- WhoisHe.Com and WhoisShe.Com is an online professional service that provides comprehensive background checks and criminal record searches designed to verify if persons are who they purport to be. This online service is the brainchild of Southern California attorney, Linda Alexander. WhoisHe.Com and WhoisShe.Com allows people to do these checks for reasonable rates, in order to protect their families and themselves.

According to Alexander, the conviction and death sentence of David Westerfield, for the kidnap and murder of his seven year old neighbor, Danielle Van Dam, has caused anxious uneasiness to parents who are now seeking ways to protect their loved ones from suspicious persons who live in their own neighborhood with potential access to their family .

Additionally, the abduction of Elizabeth Smart in Utah last summer has also caused much concern, when it was revealed that the handyman who worked in the Smart House was a career criminal. A background and criminal record check would have provided this information to the Smart family and might have alerted them to potential dangers of bringing this man into their home and providing him access to their family.

This concern and effort to protect their family members have caused thousands to swarm to WhoisHe.Com and WhoisShe.Com, to find out more information on persons such as: Nannies, Day Care Providers, In-Home Health Care Workers, and others who provide home services, such as Gardeners, Painters, Contractors, House Cleaners, suspicious neighbors and anyone else who would have access to a person`s home and their family.

Alexander says that she has also had requests to check out Sports Coaches and their assistants who are spending a great deal of time with children. Parents are concerned about the safety of their family members. They want to find out if the person who has access or is in charge of their children is a convicted pedophile or has any type of criminal record.

After doing the background and criminal record checks, Alexander has found that many who have sought to work with children or in the home, have convictions such as driving while under the influence, abuse and assault. Further, there have been some persons who were convicted sexual offenders.

Information is the key to assist people in determining whether or not to bring someone into their home or allow them access to their family and especially to their children.

The service also assists in tracing lost loves, friends, finding estranged family members and old army buddies. In addition, there are those seeking to find out about their potential mate, business partners or employees. The cost of the service provided by WhoisHe.Com and WhoisShe.Com range from $39 to $75

WhoisHe.Com and WhoisShe.Com has been widely recognized on CBS? ?48 HOURS" and the CBS Early Show; in People Magazine, listed in Yahoo Internet Life Magazine`s top 100 sites for the Year 2000, in Entrepreneur Magazine, MEN ARE FROM MARS /WOMAN FROM VENUS, TALK OR WALK, USA and THE OTHER HALF.

Anyone harboring doubts about someone can check out the website at http://WhoisHe.Com and at http://WhoisShe.Com and questions can be sent to CheckHimOut@WhoisHe.Com or contact Linda Alexander, ESQ. at 760-806-4377.

The site?s motto says it all? "when in doubt, check them out"?.


Linda J Alexander, ESQ is an attorney and the President of WhoisHe.Com / WhoisShe.Com a professional web service which provides comprehensive background, criminal and civil record checks on prospective mates, future step-parents, Nanny-checks, employment screening, in-home workers since 1997. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

More Effective Communication with Children - Part 1 - By Robert Elias Najemy

 

Today we are experiencing an ever-growing communication gap between parents, teachers and the children whom they are responsible for. Only through honest and sincere communication can we help our children to become honest, healthy and happy individuals. Some of the basic concepts of communication expressed in earlier chapters are repeated here with emphasis on communication with children.

THE BASIS OF COMMUNICATION

The guidelines for effective communication with children are, of course, the same as those for communication between all human beings.

The basis of communication is the golden rule, "do to others as you would like others to do to you". So we simply need to ask, "how we would like others to communicate with us?" Here are some thoughts:

1. We would all like honesty from all who communicate with us. No one likes being told lies. Nor do we like people to make up stories and excuses. We would like to hear the truth about what the other is thinking, feeling or doing. We feel safer, more able to cope with any situation when we know what we are dealing with. The same holds for our children. When we tell them lies, they feel insecure and distrustful of the world around them. They learn to tell lies. There can be no communication in such a case. Although the truth might not always be the easiest response, it is always the "soul- ution"

2. We all want logical reasoning and explanations from the person who is communicating with us. If he or she speaks in an irrational way, or says, "look it will simply be done this way and I have no intention of explaining to you why; do it that way because I said so, because I want it that way, although it seems illogical", we will not feel very happy. We will feel that the other has no interest in our needs or feelings. We will feel that he or she is not respecting us. This is the way our children feel when we give orders or make statements without explaining the reasons behind them.

No child is too young to be spoken to with reason and logic. Even if he or she cannot grasp all the factors involved, he or she will at least feel respected. That is extremely important.

3. Respect is absolutely essential in communication. We need to respect both ourselves and the other. That means that on the one hand, we do not suppress that which we want or feel, and on the other, we do not suppress the other. It also means that we do not shout at, criticize or demean the others with harsh words. We would not like to be talked to in this way. Children are even more sensitive and vulnerable to shouting and harsh words. Their self-image and sense of security are seriously undermined.

Respect breeds respect. When we show respect to our children during their early years they will return this behavior in the later years. If we frequently criticize, blame, demean or speak down to them, we will find that during adolescence, this lack of respect will then be returned to us.

4. We all want to be loved. We want to know that the other person cares for us, accepts us. It is not necessary for them to agree with us or accept all that we do or believe. We can accept each other despite our differences. This kind of unconditional acceptance is essential for open, honest communication. If we feel that the other is going to get angry, reject us or nag me for something which we will tell him or her, then we will likely not communicate at all with that person. This is a situation children get into frequently.

When we continuously criticize and advise our children, they gradually stop telling us what they are doing. They stop communicating, because whatever they will say will be criticized. Or they may start criticizing us. They start rejecting whatever we say. They may do this with words or with actions which symbolize rebellion, independence and rejection of our beliefs.

Assurance that there will always be love and acceptance, whatever the one or the other may do, keeps the channel open for honest communication. We are talking about accepting the being and not every action which he or she may perform. This distinction is important. We can express our displeasure or disagreement concerning a particular belief or behavior, while still feeling love and acceptance for the child.

5. Our children look for consistency from their elders. We have discussed this in the previous chapter. When there is no consistency between words and actions, the basis of communication breaks down, because words have no meaning they are empty.

6. Communication is a two way process. We need to learn to speak and to listen. We do not like communicating with someone who talks continuously and does not allow us a chance to express ourselves. On the other hand, neither do we like it when we speak and the other does not respond. A balance is needed. Most of us need to learn to listen more. Children need a sounding board for their thoughts, discoveries and problems. If we are not capable of listening properly our children will close up and / or find someone else to talk with.

If you would like to receive a free email course with 16 messages concerning how we can help our Children, Send in an email to the following address to get one message each week on Life`s Lessons for 16 weeks.

communicatingchildren@GetResponse.com

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Robert Elias Najemy, a life coach with 30 years of experience, has created a L i f e C o a c h T r a i n i n g Course over the Internet. Info at: http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/introholisticcoach.asp He is the author of over 20 books, 600 articles and 400 lecture cassettes on Human Harmony. His book The Psychology of Happiness is available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971011605/holisticharmo-20 and You can download FREE 100`s of articles, find w o n d e r f u l e b o o k s and get g u i d a n c e at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com

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